Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘military spouses’

Just as these veterans raised their hand to swear an oath to serve their country, you, too, can join in committing to support them through Operation Homefront’s #RaiseYourHand campaign. Learn more at http://www.operationhomefront.org/RaiseYourHand

To honor our Nation’s veterans, Operation Homefront would like to share the stories of the veterans who have touched our lives through our programs.  Please join us every day as we feature a new veteran in our #11Days11Stories series leading up to Veterans Day 2019. Today we can take a humorous look back at a life of service through the family’s eyes:

As Haily Radnor and her husband Steve, an Air Force first sergeant, near retirement in early 2019 after 24 years of service, she looks back fondly on their time in the military, while also looking forward to having Steve around more often.

The Radnors and their five children – Austin, 13; Sierra, 9; Cheyenne, 6; Skyler, 3; and Logan, 5 months – plan to move from Colorado Springs, Colorado, where they are stationed now, to Pennsylvania to be closer to Steve’s extended family.  For his second career, Steve may stay in human resources because he has enjoyed his most recent assignment as a first sergeant, caring or the morale and welfare of airmen.

Hailey has a few thoughts on what she will (and won’t miss) about their life of service as a military family.  Thoughts I am sure many of us will nod our head’s in agreement about:

What she will miss:

  • Belonging to the larger military family, and feeling the love, from time to time, from people and organizations who care, and value their service, including Operation Homefront. Haily attended a May 2018 Operation Homefront Star-Spangled Baby shower in Colorado Springs at which she and about 100 other new and expecting military members and spouses enjoyed each other’s company, and received special gifts, including Cracker Barrel rocking chairs, cribs and other necessities.

“Knowing that there are those out there that do appreciate what we do, that life isn’t being taken for granted … makes it that much easier for us to get up and do our thing every day,” Haily said.

  • The strong bonds they have formed with other military families. She and her military spouse friends are flexible, accepting of change and patient because they know that being high-strung and uptight doesn’t work.  “Your children reflect how you behave,” she said.  “It’s not worth getting upset over little things.”
  • Being the friend she would like to have. “Everyone needs someone to be strong for them when they can’t be,” she said.  That requires putting yourself out there, and meeting people without fear of being hurt even though that can be scary.  “It makes us better people and it teaches us.”

At the same time, Haily recommends, “allow yourself to make mistakes because if you don’t, you cannot learn from them to become a better person.”

  • The sense of duty, knowing that there’s a purpose in my husband’s work.”
  • Their newborn won’t know the excitement and rewards of military life. Yet if Steve stayed in, he likely would go remote for a year, missing much of their baby’s first two years of life, so they decided it’s “time to hang up the boots.”
  • Being surrounded by others who don’t take their country or their lives for granted. Having known families who lost loved ones in war, she and Steve always make it a point to teach their children to be appreciative, respectful and accepting and inclusive of everyone, regardless of differences in age, background, appearance or income.  “All they see is a new friend and that’s all that matters.”

“If you ever go on to a military base and “Taps” is playing, the kids at the playground freeze and stand toward that music and put their hands on their heart,” Haily said.  “Life just freezes for those few moments.”

What she won’t miss:

  • Steve’s long, frequent absences. Though all but one of his deployments happened before they married in 2004, he deployed in 2015 to Kuwait for six months.  They had four children at the time.  He also has had assignments that kept him away from home, including his current one, which requires him to be on call 24/7.  When they were relative newlyweds with only one child at the time, Steve performed maintenance for the Thunderbirds, the Air Force’s demonstration squadron, and was traveling more than 200 days a year.  Even when he was home, he worked 12- to 15-hour days, she said. Their son, Austin, now 13, didn’t understand why his father was gone, or would only return for short periods.  “The emotions on him were really hard,” she said. “It was hard for him not having his dad, even though we could have our little Skype talks on occasion a couple times a week” at most.  It wasn’t enough to take the place of his daily presence.

Steve’s schedule improved some when they moved to Germany, but he still worked long hours as an NCO instructor.

  • Her kids having to repeatedly adjust to new communities and schools. When the Radnors, who moved seven times over 14 years and four duty stations, relocated to Arizona from Germany, their kids had difficulty “breaking in” to established friend circles, and felt excluded.  There was a stark contrast between their military-friendly neighborhood in Germany and their more civilian-centric community in Arizona, where many neighbors had never traveled outside the state, she said.  It was a “heartbreaking” time, she said, but improved in Colorado.
  • Knowing that more military members will lose their lives serving their country, never to return to their families. And that countless others will spend lengthy periods away from their families.

What do you or will you miss (or not) about YOUR military service?  Tell us in the comments.

Operation Homefront is a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit whose mission is to build strong, stable, and secure military families so they can thrive — not simply struggle to get by — in the communities they have worked so hard to protect. For over fifteen years, we have provided programs that offer: RELIEF (through Critical Financial Assistance and transitional housing programs), RESILIENCY (through permanent housing and caregiver support services) and RECURRING FAMILY SUPPORT programs and services throughout the year that help military families overcome the short-term bumps in the road so they don’t become long-term chronic problems. Please visit us at www.operationhomefront.org to learn more or support our mission.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Achieving your degree is a tremendous accomplishment. Many times, military spouses are not able to complete their education due to the inherent challenges of military life – multiple moves, deployments, injuries, children’s needs, etc. Sarah Gaul’s dream of completing a bachelor’s degree will finally come true, thanks to a full-tuition scholarship from Southern New Hampshire University, presented at Operation Homefront’s June 2018 Homefront Celebration in Anchorage, Alaska, a military spouse appreciation event that was a bright spot during a rough period in Sarah’s life.

Sarah shares her story with our Homefront Celebration guests.

Grateful that SNHU’s military-friendly programs are flexible, Sarah will complete her education at her own pace because the former Coast Guard reservist just recently completed breast cancer treatment after an October 2017 diagnosis, works part time, and has three active sons with her husband, Jeramy, who medically retired from the Coast Guard in June 2018.

In fact, all five family members started new schools this fall. Sarah, who has sewn all her life and started working in a quilt shop in May 2018, is majoring in fashion merchandising and management and digital photography. Jeramy is in the geomatics program at University of Alaska Anchorage. Their oldest son, Frank, 14, just started high school. Middle son Sean, 11, entered middle school, and their youngest, Henry, 5, started kindergarten.

Sarah said they will need to support each other through some inevitable school-related stress because she still has “chemo brain” from her cancer treatment which required multiple surgeries and four rounds of chemotherapy. Their older two boys are on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. And Jeramy has experienced several traumatic brain injuries leading to his medical retirement. The Veterans Affairs Department rated his disability at 100 percent. Jeramy’s initial TBI happened 21 years ago during a training accident while in the Washington National Guard. A tank hatch slammed shut on his head. “He’s lucky to be alive,” Sarah said, adding that he was wearing a helmet. He suffered a broken jaw. Later on multiple occasions, Jeramy hit his head while on Coast Guard boats, and fell down a ladder well.

Suffice it to say that life since her diagnosis and Jeramy’s retirement, with the whole family in different schools, has been “just crazy,” as Sarah puts it. That’s why she greatly enjoyed a night out to herself at the Homefront Celebration. She sat with SNHU representatives and students who shared their perspectives on balancing school, work and home responsibilities. Operation Homefront (OH) also treated attendees, including many Army and Air Force spouses, to a catered dinner, dancing and prizes.

“Even 20 minutes to myself is a wonderful thing,”-Sarah says, of her journey as survivor, student, mom and military spouse.

“It was so much fun,” said Sarah, who follows OH on Facebook, and had participated previously in OH’s Back-to-School Brigade and Holiday Toy Drive events. “It was an amazing night. They took great care of us. The gift bags were just stuffed full of things.”

Sarah had a good time at the event even though she feels “so self-conscious now” because the chemotherapy caused her to lose her hair. “Even 20 minutes to myself is a wonderful thing,” she said, adding that it was nice to find something to do for herself because she can’t get her hair done, or go for a back massage because she can’t lie on the table until she’s fully recovered from her surgeries.

“I’m excited to get back into school and start learning again.”

Sarah said the scholarship was the “ultimate prize” because without it, she would have had to delay returning to school until after their kids graduated from college. “Financially, there’s no way that we could afford for me to go back to school. I had really just put going back to school out of my mind.”

Now she can work on her classes as she finds time. “We’re teaching our kids how important education is,” Sarah said. “Not having that degree over the years has been tough for me.” She has wished she had a degree because many employers require one even for entry-level work, and it will improve her job prospects after being a stay-at-home mom for 14 years, an experience she “would not trade … for anything.”

It was not for lack of trying that Sarah has been unable to finish her degree. It’s just one of the many challenges and sacrifices that comes with the territory of serving in the military. She had previously taken online courses through American Military University, but could not continue because Jeramy went to a Coast Guard cutter in the Bering Sea, while she took care of the kids.

Sarah enlisted in the Coast Guard Reserve in 1998. Jeramy, who had been serving in the Washington National Guard, later switched into the Coast Guard Reserve. They married in 2001, not long before the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Because of 9/11, they both got called to active duty, and the Coast Guard sent them to different places even though they were in the same unit. They didn’t see each other for three months. Jeramy went to an electronic support unit in Seattle; Sarah went to the marine safety office, conducting vessel safety inspections. Once she got pregnant with their oldest in 2003, she continued some inspections, but had to stop others because of the environmental risk.

Frank was born in 2004, at about the same time her six years of active drilling was ending. She got out because of her concern that as a dual military couple, they would have child care issues. In 2005, Jeramy accepted an active-duty Coast Guard assignment that moved them from Seattle to Anchorage.

Sarah and family in 2017.

“Having transferred and moved as much as we have as a military family, it’s not easy,” Sarah said.

With a degree in fashion merchandising and management and digital photography skills, Sarah can help retailers with buying decisions, staying relevant in the economy, and keeping customers coming back. “I’m excited to get back into school and start learning again. Mentally for me, I think it will help with my chemo brain … to keep my brain engaged.”


Thank you Southern New Hampshire University for supporting our military spouses and helping us host Homefront Celebrations across the USA and for helping our military spouses realize their education goals.

More events are planned in the future so keep an eye out on our events page or follow us on Facebook to see announcements about this and other events.

Get educated about risk factors for Breast Cancer, prevention and early detection and more here.

Read Full Post »

Surprise!

With a little help from her husband, we were able to surprise Hailey at home.

One minute, she was an average military wife at home on a Saturday morning. But this day was quite different, she was being given an experience most people only dream about. With the ring of the doorbell, Hailey Lorati found herself in the midst of balloons, flowers and photographers, being whisked away in a limousine. “I remember being so excited that I was shaking and just happy,” said Hailey.

First stop was a local bridal store to pick out any dress she wanted, thanks to a donation from an anonymous donor. The last time Hailey picked out a dress for herself was the day before her wedding. Like many military wives, she was young and in love but didn’t have much money for a big fancy wedding. Her best friend and she went to a shop the day before her wedding, looked at the clearance section and picked out a dress that would fit. But now, not only could she choose her dress, but shoes and jewelry to match. The VIP experience continued on to a spa for a manicure and pedicure. And she visited a local salon to have her hair and makeup done. “My husband was the last person to give me a haircut, so it was pretty messy,” said Hailey.

Operation Homefront hosts Homefront Celebrations to honor military spouses at spots around the country every year. When Hailey signed up to attend our Homefront Celebration at the beautiful Hotel Murano in Tacoma, Wash., she indicated she wanted to be considered for a scholarship from Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU), our partner for this event. In spite of the challenges of military life, her husband being away a lot and having children, Hailey has continued to work to complete her degree. She was contacted for an interview but had no idea she had been selected. “I assumed that I really messed up the interview,” said Hailey.

But Hailey impressed everyone with her willingness to put others before herself. “During the interview, Hailey offered to give up her spot (at the Homefront Celebration) and be a volunteer for the event, so another military spouse would have a chance to attend,” said Michael Nuttbrock, program manager for our Pacific Northwest field office. So she was selected not only to receive the $5,000 scholarship to Southern New Hampshire University, but was given the VIP experience to make her day extra special. With the scholarship, Hailey will be the first in her family to have an education.

Others Before Self: “During the interview, Hailey offered to give up her spot (at the Homefront Celebration) and be a volunteer for the event, so another military spouse would have a chance to attend,” said Michael Nuttbrock, program manager for our Pacific Northwest field office.

Others Before Self: “During the interview, Hailey offered to give up her spot (at the Homefront Celebration) and be a volunteer for the event, so another military spouse would have a chance to attend,” said Michael Nuttbrock, program manager for our Pacific Northwest field office.

 

Hailey, in true form, thought of others first when the limo pulled up to her house. She has a baby, so she was concerned that everything would go okay if she was away. “I was nervous about leaving my baby. I had never left my baby prior to… this event. Operation Homefront and SNHU staff took turns caring for him and… made it work so I could feed him (and still) look presentable for the big night,” she said. “My husband apparently was in on this entire thing. How on earth he pulled this off, I will never understand.”

 

After a day of pampering, Hailey was off to the big event. She met her husband there so he could see his beautiful wife after her transformation. “My husband was just so happy and proud of me. I’m so happy he was able to share the entire experience with me.”

afterHFCWA

 

 

Hailey was selected  to receive a $5,000 scholarship to Southern New Hampshire University,  With the scholarship, Hailey will be the first in her family to pursue higher education.

Hailey was selected to receive a $5,000 scholarship to Southern New Hampshire University, With the scholarship, Hailey will be the first in her family to finish her degree.

When the guest speaker spoke, “I cried reflecting on our own experiences of (deployment) and having to tell your children why Dad is leaving. My husband has a scary job and we don’t dwell on the ‘what if.’ This evening was a great reminder that I’m not in this alone, all the wives who attended have been there or could be in that place later down the road,” said Hailey.

She said that she and all of the guests were treated so well at the Homefront Celebration. Even though she had been singled out for a special day and scholarship, she “really wanted all the spouses to feel like Cinderella for the evening.”

Hailey was eager to show appreciation for her day. “I want to extend a special thank you to the United States Army, for providing my family the life we have. In addition, I want to thank my husband. He means the world to me and I wouldn’t be where I am in my life without him by my side. Lastly, I want to share my extreme appreciation towards Southern New Hampshire University and Operation Homefront staff (in Washington). They all put in an extensive amount of behind-the-scene work to ensure my day was extremely special. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to spend the day with them,” she said.

 

Operation Homefront’s Homefront Celebrations are designed to give military spouses an evening of relaxation and rejuvenation. It’s our way of saying thanks for the sacrifices made by those who hold down the homefront. The evening includes a special dinner, inspiring speaker, raffle drawings and gift bags for everyone to take home. Our events are possible through the support of Southern New Hampshire University, who dreamed up the idea of awarding scholarships and the VIP experience for Hailey, who plans to finish her BA in Human Services. So far this year, we’ve hosted Homefront Celebrations in San Antonio, Texas, and Tacoma, Wash., and we have several other locations we’ll visit, to be announced later this spring. View all pictures from the Tacoma event.

Special thanks to the following for donating time or services to make the event special for Hailey and her family: Excalibur Limousine Service, David’s Bridal (for opening early), Salon Miro, Savi Spa, Hotel Murano and the anonymous donor for covering the cost of the dress and accessories.

 

Read Full Post »

It was our second year as members of our local community pool and summer swim team, when one afternoon, my husband popped in on the way home from the base.  In his Navy whites.  Just a quick drop by, kiss on the cheek, wave to the kids, see you at home type deal. As he walked out, three heads simultaneously swiveled to stare in confusion at me:

militaryspouseappreciation

Take a bow, spouses. You have more than earned it.

“YOU’RE a military wife?” 

“Yes…”

“He’s in…the NAVY?!”

“Yes….”

“Since when?!”

“Uh….the last 10 years.”

“How did we miss that?”

That’s actually a good question.  The answer probably involves a little bit of me not really wearing military life on my sleeve and (I suspect) a bit more of the stereotypes and myths surrounding “the military spouse”.  But mainly, I think it was because our chats were those common to a group of acquaintances. We talked about things like swimming, schools, topics in the news, or events around town.

You know, normal everyday stuff.

I am going to say something that might surprise you: the “military spouse” is, really, just like you.  They have their talents and gifts, and their quirks and not-so-awesome moments.  They don’t have super powers and wear capes (though it would be totally cool if they did).  They carry the day and drop the ball.  They can light fires under folks, or put them out.  Or put out the fires they started (“I thought the burner was off,  honest.”).  They have kids that get straight As and ones that just can’t seem to turn in their homework. Their lawns need mowing.  Their cars need oil changes.  Their cat needs to go to the vet. Their friends know not to call them between 9 and 10PM, Sunday night.  Because, Game of Thrones, people!

So, after all that, you may ask, why Military Spouse Appreciation Day?

Because they live a life of the seemingly ordinary, under conditions that are anything but.  Because people they love deeply, their partners in this crazy world, are gone for months, sometimes years.  Because they know their loved one may never come home, or be irrevocably altered by the horrors of war when they do.  Because others can’t, or won’t, make that sacrifice.  Because even though they often go unnoticed, what they do serves all of us in a way that we may never be able to repay.

And that makes them extraordinary.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day is May 10th 2013.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: