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Posts Tagged ‘advice for military spouses’

Every Mother’s Day, I take a moment to look at my life and reflect on how great it is. It’s been over 15 years since I lost my leg to a roadside bomb in Iraq and I can honestly say my life is better now than it has ever been. I am a proud mother, wife, Veteran, elite athlete and motivational speaker. F46181FD-8D91-491A-B0F6-C34D4B1791CF

Being a mom is my favorite. It’s both the best and the hardest job and I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s hard not to tear up a little when I think about the love I have for my kids.

My happiest moments and best days are when I’m with my family; playing, walking, dancing or doing anything as long as we are together. I often think about the sacrifice that military families make due to service to our country. Deployments, relocations, training exercise.  All of these mean missed time with family members.

I would not be where I am today, without the support system I had to get me through the transitions I had in life. From a military spouse, to losing my leg, being medically retired from the Army and a new mom. I was so grateful to have organizations out there to help me when I needed them along with my support team of my family and friends. I’ve learned from experience, that us moms need all the help we can get!

I believe that moms are the heart and soul of the family, (dads are pretty important too!)  from the day we know that little one is in our belly! There is a special bond between moms, as if we can give each other a ‘we’ve got this’ head nod as we walk by with our strollers and sometimes screaming kids. We are, after all, all in this together. We have the strength, resilience, to push through whatever comes our way.

My children give me the motivation to dream big and I hope that one day they will have big dreams of their own. I will always be their biggest cheerleader.    45774282-7C31-45CE-8AA0-F79B6AB5D1E2

Coming up on May 19th, I have the opportunity to meet some expecting military moms (and new moms as well) at the Operation Homefront Star Spangled Baby Shower event in Colorado Springs. I cannot wait to meet you all.

So, to all the moms and the soon-to-be moms out there – cherish this day and love on those little, or not so little ones, in your life. I hope you all have a wonderful Mother’s Day! #Mission2Honor  #MilitaryMoms.
Melissa Stockwell
1LT, Ret.
Proud mom of 2

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The Start Strong, Stay Strong campaign offers military moms a network of support – online and in commissaries and exchanges around the world – so they may connect with their communities, explore local events and discover motivational stories. Whether they are welcoming a new child into the home, managing day-to-day household needs through relocations, adjusting to family life with a wounded veteran, or settling into new schools and communities, P&G and Operation Homefront are here to help military moms start strong and stay strong throughout their service to our country.
Through the online community, StartStrongPG.com, military moms can access the information they need wherever they live, all year long. They will discover things to do, find local resources in their community, unlock savings, explore an online marketplace, and much more.

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Just as these veterans raised their hand to swear an oath to serve their country, you, too, can join in committing to support them through Operation Homefront’s #RaiseYourHand campaign. Learn more at http://www.operationhomefront.org/RaiseYourHand

To honor our Nation’s veterans, Operation Homefront would like to share the stories of the veterans who have touched our lives through our programs.  Please join us every day as we feature a new veteran in our #11Days11Stories series leading up to Veterans Day 2019. Today we can take a humorous look back at a life of service through the family’s eyes:

As Haily Radnor and her husband Steve, an Air Force first sergeant, near retirement in early 2019 after 24 years of service, she looks back fondly on their time in the military, while also looking forward to having Steve around more often.

The Radnors and their five children – Austin, 13; Sierra, 9; Cheyenne, 6; Skyler, 3; and Logan, 5 months – plan to move from Colorado Springs, Colorado, where they are stationed now, to Pennsylvania to be closer to Steve’s extended family.  For his second career, Steve may stay in human resources because he has enjoyed his most recent assignment as a first sergeant, caring or the morale and welfare of airmen.

Hailey has a few thoughts on what she will (and won’t miss) about their life of service as a military family.  Thoughts I am sure many of us will nod our head’s in agreement about:

What she will miss:

  • Belonging to the larger military family, and feeling the love, from time to time, from people and organizations who care, and value their service, including Operation Homefront. Haily attended a May 2018 Operation Homefront Star-Spangled Baby shower in Colorado Springs at which she and about 100 other new and expecting military members and spouses enjoyed each other’s company, and received special gifts, including Cracker Barrel rocking chairs, cribs and other necessities.

“Knowing that there are those out there that do appreciate what we do, that life isn’t being taken for granted … makes it that much easier for us to get up and do our thing every day,” Haily said.

  • The strong bonds they have formed with other military families. She and her military spouse friends are flexible, accepting of change and patient because they know that being high-strung and uptight doesn’t work.  “Your children reflect how you behave,” she said.  “It’s not worth getting upset over little things.”
  • Being the friend she would like to have. “Everyone needs someone to be strong for them when they can’t be,” she said.  That requires putting yourself out there, and meeting people without fear of being hurt even though that can be scary.  “It makes us better people and it teaches us.”

At the same time, Haily recommends, “allow yourself to make mistakes because if you don’t, you cannot learn from them to become a better person.”

  • The sense of duty, knowing that there’s a purpose in my husband’s work.”
  • Their newborn won’t know the excitement and rewards of military life. Yet if Steve stayed in, he likely would go remote for a year, missing much of their baby’s first two years of life, so they decided it’s “time to hang up the boots.”
  • Being surrounded by others who don’t take their country or their lives for granted. Having known families who lost loved ones in war, she and Steve always make it a point to teach their children to be appreciative, respectful and accepting and inclusive of everyone, regardless of differences in age, background, appearance or income.  “All they see is a new friend and that’s all that matters.”

“If you ever go on to a military base and “Taps” is playing, the kids at the playground freeze and stand toward that music and put their hands on their heart,” Haily said.  “Life just freezes for those few moments.”

What she won’t miss:

  • Steve’s long, frequent absences. Though all but one of his deployments happened before they married in 2004, he deployed in 2015 to Kuwait for six months.  They had four children at the time.  He also has had assignments that kept him away from home, including his current one, which requires him to be on call 24/7.  When they were relative newlyweds with only one child at the time, Steve performed maintenance for the Thunderbirds, the Air Force’s demonstration squadron, and was traveling more than 200 days a year.  Even when he was home, he worked 12- to 15-hour days, she said. Their son, Austin, now 13, didn’t understand why his father was gone, or would only return for short periods.  “The emotions on him were really hard,” she said. “It was hard for him not having his dad, even though we could have our little Skype talks on occasion a couple times a week” at most.  It wasn’t enough to take the place of his daily presence.

Steve’s schedule improved some when they moved to Germany, but he still worked long hours as an NCO instructor.

  • Her kids having to repeatedly adjust to new communities and schools. When the Radnors, who moved seven times over 14 years and four duty stations, relocated to Arizona from Germany, their kids had difficulty “breaking in” to established friend circles, and felt excluded.  There was a stark contrast between their military-friendly neighborhood in Germany and their more civilian-centric community in Arizona, where many neighbors had never traveled outside the state, she said.  It was a “heartbreaking” time, she said, but improved in Colorado.
  • Knowing that more military members will lose their lives serving their country, never to return to their families. And that countless others will spend lengthy periods away from their families.

What do you or will you miss (or not) about YOUR military service?  Tell us in the comments.

Operation Homefront is a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit whose mission is to build strong, stable, and secure military families so they can thrive — not simply struggle to get by — in the communities they have worked so hard to protect. For over fifteen years, we have provided programs that offer: RELIEF (through Critical Financial Assistance and transitional housing programs), RESILIENCY (through permanent housing and caregiver support services) and RECURRING FAMILY SUPPORT programs and services throughout the year that help military families overcome the short-term bumps in the road so they don’t become long-term chronic problems. Please visit us at www.operationhomefront.org to learn more or support our mission.

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