If you’re like me, there’s nothing like the end of the age to motivate you to turn over a new leaf. Frankly, I don’t have time for the end of the world to arrive. But Mr. Camping of Family Radio says he’s positive the end of the world will begin at 8 pm tomorrow. And the CDC is giving tips in case the zombies invade. So I guess change is in order.
I’ve always wanted to be one of those super cute organized moms. Since it’s my last chance, I’m gonna do it. Well, super cute is already out of the question…there’s not enough time…or lipo! So, let’s focus on getting organized.
I went to REAL SIMPLE’s web site because their motto is “life made easier, everyday.” Well, it would be easier if the apocalypse would hold off, but maybe their 18 time-saving tips can help me in my quest to become Super Woman of the Year for at least 24 hours. Let’s go through them:
- Designate a space for “in use” cups. I’m pretty sure we’ll be happy just to have cups to drink from and should probably stockpile water in that designated space as well. Okay, I’m off to a good start.
- Presort the family laundry. I’ll just make sure I have the family dressed in clean underwear and nothing that will fall off easily in a strong wind.
- Minimize trips to the garbage can. Ummmmm…think we might need a bigger garbage can, errr dumpster…my own landfill?
- Make a quick breakfast. If it’s my last breakfast, I don’t really want it to be quick or healthy. I’m going for thick bacon, big cinnamon rolls, fried eggs and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
- Put the kids to work. Now there’s one I can utilize. “Kids start digging a bunker!”
- Prepare sandwiches for dinner. Well, I guess you can’t cook a gourmet meal in a bunker, so this makes sense. But my kids are gonna hate me if I force them to eat PBJs. I think I made it for one too many school lunches this year.
- Keep an everything datebook. Okay….hmmm….”honey we have an appointment with destruction tomorrow night. We can dress casually.” Maybe I should call it my “one-date” book.
- Never miss another birthday. Hey, I’m gonna get four stars on this one. I just sent the obligatory “Happy Birthday. Have an awesome day!” to all my Facebook friends and after that, no one will be around to hate me for forgetting.
- Have a shredder ready. I think the zombies and the earthquakes will pretty much eliminate the need to protect my personal information. But I can go out and charge the flashiest, sharpest, gold-plated shredder to my credit card because hey, I’ll never have to pay that bill, right?
- Try a double-duty dustbin. What?!?! I can use that disgusting can for trash and…..salad? Nope, I’m thinking this one won’t work for me.
- Try a recipe chain-letter. This one is great! Send me the ingredients to that secret family recipe for liver pate’ now! And you better share it with 10 friends within 15 minutes or the world will come to an end! Hey, a chain letter that actually has some teeth…
- Squeeze now, use later. Well, life may be handing me some meteor-sized lemons so I might as well make lemonade.
- Keep an ongoing shopping list. That’s one tip that is easy to keep up with for about 2000 more minutes.
- Time stamp your photos. Why? So the aliens and zombies know when they were taken?
- Get ready for morning the night before. I believe I could side-step responsibility altogether on this one and translate it into “party like there’s no tomorrow.”
- Create a beauty station. Well, I might want to look good for my last minutes on earth. Time to head to Sephora! Do I have time to paint my toenails?
- Start a day-by-day shelf system. One day. One shelf. That’s easy. If I have to put one thing on it for the zombies to find, I’d probably choose a hand grenade or the lemons I squeezed earlier. That would put a pucker on their palate.
- Organize your hand-me-downs. I think for this purpose, we’ll call them hand-me-overs. It could distract the zombies just long enough for me to make a getaway.
In the off chance we don’t meet our maker this weekend, these are actually very good tips from both the CDC and REAL SIMPLE. You can use them to get organized for the day-to-day tasks AND preparing for the unexpected. Please visit their Web sites and make your life easier, everyday.