Every marriage has its share of obstacles. Those challenges are magnified when a life-changing traumatic injury occurs. For Michael and Justina Green, their marriage almost didn’t survive Michael’s combat injuries. That is not uncommon between those who bear the scars of war and the ones who love and care for them. But this story, thankfully, has a happy ending.
Michael and Justina Green’s little sisters were friends. That’s how they first met…over 20 years ago. Fate brought them together and now they’ve been married almost three years. It might have been longer but their engagement was delayed because Michael was in the Army for three years.
He was on his first deployment in 2005 and only in Iraq for three months when he was injured. He was riding in a Humvee, facing the back as the gunner. As the vehicle traveled over a bridge, an IED was activated. The Humvee was thrown off to the side. Michael suffered a right arm amputation and deep tissue shrapnel wound to his right thigh.
When Michael first came home from the hospital, Justina did everything for him. He suffered from daily PTSD so she tried to make life as peaceful and calm as possible. Then she met another family in a similar situation. The wife told her to let her husband do things for himself and try to heal.
This was good advice because tending to his every need was very tiring and hard on Justina. There were many times when Justina wanted to give up and walk away. She didn’t think their relationship was going to make it. They were fighting all the time and sometimes they would not talk for days. This went on for almost two years.
Justina turned to Michael’s mother and brother for support. They gave her a break now and then and provided her with the shoulder to cry on. Justina also met a nurse through the VA Caregiver Support program that checked on her all the time. Justina explained that the nurse would allow her to cry and vent. “When I felt all alone and couldn’t understand why the man I loved acted the way he did, it was helpful to reach out and just talk to someone.”
Also, Justina educated herself on PTSD and how that was affecting Michael. “There was so much I didn’t understand,” said Justina. But as she learned about the effects of PTSD, she could respond more appropriately. Over time, they started talking more and communicating their feelings. And Michael became more self-sufficient. Though it was painful and he struggled, he slowly learned to do things on his own.
Earlier this year, Justina attended the Hearts of Valor caregiver retreat in San Diego, CA in March 2013. “It was a very humbling and emotional experience. I was able to connect with others that understood what I’d gone through,” Justina said.
Today, this resilient couple lives in San Diego. Michael is working for a non-profit helping other wounded warriors. Justina is actively pursuing her dream to become a labor and delivery nurse. Michael has been fit for new prosthetics that allow him to play the guitar, surf, paddle board and kayak. “Because we both love the outdoors, this has allowed us to spend more quality time together making memories,” said Justina.
Those who care for wounded warriors don’t need to struggle alone. There are resources to provide support. Operation Homefront’s Hearts of Valor program is designed to support caregivers by providing social connections to other caregivers in similar situations, fostering support groups around the country, and sponsoring annual retreats to provide education on relevant issues.
Join in the conversation with us as we celebrate those veterans among us, by sharing stories of your own. Through Facebook or Twitter, please use the hashtag #11days11stories to share your own inspirational story of a veteran in your life.